


perception

by kalypsobean



Category: Eastern Promises (2007)
Genre: Developing Relationship, Grief/Mourning, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-25
Updated: 2016-01-25
Packaged: 2018-05-16 04:32:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5814298
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kalypsobean/pseuds/kalypsobean
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is how Nikolai found his relationship with Kirill post-movie.</p>
            </blockquote>





	perception

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [presentation](https://archiveofourown.org/works/5792455) by [kalypsobean](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kalypsobean/pseuds/kalypsobean). 



> Prequel-of-a-sort to [presentation](http://archiveofourown.org/works/5792455).

Nikolai prides himself on being able to read people. It's saved him a few times; it's helped him get this far in, this deep, without being tripped up. He watches people even when they're not exactly interesting, or relevant to his needs, and he learns. 

He doesn't know how things went so wrong.

 

Semyon's removal should have meant Kirill could breathe, be able to shed the role of heir and take over with only just a bit of guidance. It would have been appropriate that way, invisible. Nikolai could have stayed at his side.

Instead, Kirill fell apart. 

 

Sometimes, Nikolai wonders if killing Semyon wouldn't have been easier, especially at Kirill's lower points. Of course, nobody acknowledges Semyon now, but nobody will take over from him either, not with Kirill still there, apparently flaunting his escape from death with girls and powder. The thing Nikolai can see coming is a knife, though he doesn't know where from; there isn't a shortage of people who would think of a coup.

Yet, it doesn't come. Kirill spirals; he doesn't fall, but doesn't rise. He lets people talk now, as if he's untouchable even without enforcing it, though Nikolai soon begins to suspect it's not that he doesn't care, or even that he doesn't hear it. 

Kirill, without his father, is nothing. Without his father to disapprove of him, Kirill just is; he has nothing to live up to with nobody to tell him he's a disappointment. 

Nikolai did not see that coming, at all; even when he pulled Kirill in close and promised him the world, there was nothing to say that Kirill wouldn't take it, even if he tore it to pieces and left it rent on the ground.

Nikolai's grateful, though, that everyone else can be relied on. The same doctor who stitches up the ones whom Nikolai doesn't have to dispose of slides him a prescription under the table; they don't exactly need it, but the message is clear enough. Kirill refuses, but Nikolai finds a way. He always finds a way: Kirill becomes controllable, but aimless, disinterested. The lieutenants skirt Kirill and Nikolai stops pretending to ask him for their answers.

 

He has everything he needs, but it feels insecure, easily shattered, until everything builds up and he snaps at Kirill. Kirill whimpers and doesn't protest when Nikolai presses their foreheads together, one hand on Kirill's neck. It's almost the same as it was before, and yet, it feels as if Nikolai could push Kirill down and demand anything and Kirill would do it, just to hear Nikolai tell him he did well.

He doesn't, but Kirill knows that he could; it's where their new balance settles, after a while. Nikolai's no stranger to it, of course, but with Kirill he's gentle, giving out small gestures and kind words until Kirill is compliant. Kirill becomes less wild, more malleable; he shows up for business even though he needs Nikolai's touch to make it through. Nikolai still does the talking, but there's no lingering doubts over his authority.

 

It never goes further than that. Nikolai is grateful; not that he wouldn't, or that he wouldn't enjoy it, but if it was personal, the end would hurt more. 

He's not sure whether it's Kirill who would be hurt or if he's unsure that it's his own heart that would break; he can't read himself, after all. He never expected this. He can react, though; he's always been adaptable, becoming what he needs to be. If it's close to who he is, then it's just easier to keep up the lie.


End file.
